Life, and …

See? I can’t even say it. Death.

I heard yesterday that a new friend from a homeschooling group found out yesterday that she likely has only “several months” to live, due to cancer. She’s MY age, and has two young kids (6 + 4 yrs). This isn’t supposed to happen to people OUR age! It’s not fair, to her, to her husband, to her darling young kids. In her email to friends and family yesterday she says still, though, that “God is good”, and that He will serve a good purpose out of this. I just have so few words…

I am going back in my mind to my own recent scare with thyroid cancer. It was minor, because once I got to the specialists and they did needle biopsies cancer was not yet found and therefore less likely (I had a surgical removal to be sure), but there were a few weeks in between where everything turned dark as I wondered if it was “my turn”. And all I could think of were my kids and Hubby. HOW would they go on? Who could possibly ever care for my kids as much as I? How would Hubby cope with 4 kids on his hands, plus his job? Who could take care of them, even homeschool them for me? Who would teach them all the valuable things I wanted to still teach them? In the weeks of questioning, I found few concrete answers, and that was the hardest part – not KNOWING with my whole heart they would be ok if I were to go. Not having enough faith in the One person who loves them all so much more than I.

I’m terribly sad for this friend. I want to scoop up her kids and homeschool them for her and carry out all her dreams for them for her. But I’m also renewed in my passion for my family. I’m determined to make the most of each day we DO have together, for as many days as we are given together. I want to pray for each of them even more. If anyone thought I took a lot of photos of my Kids before – just wait for it! And I have to train Hubby to take pics and videos that include Momma. I want to be more active with each one of them, creating memories to live on in scrapbooks forever. Because who knows – “my turn” could still come at any time.