Letting go happens so gradually, you almost don’t even realize.
At the beginning of your child’s – especially your OLDEST – grade 12 year you think, “Ohmygoodness! How did we get HERE already? Well, at least we have a year before actual graduation!”. Then you get caught up in grad photos, dresses, Christmas, university applications, prom, the “last high school… this and that”, and POOF! As suddenly as it came, that year is gone, and your once 8-yr old daughter is now TELLING you (not asking, I might add) that she’ll be taking the car for grad and will be home around 4am. (It’s 6:30am and she’s not home yet – they decided to start a harry potter marathon??! crazy kids!).
And you look back a bit, realizing that gradually you have indeed come to this point.
And then you look at the next one, and you realize that while you were obsessing over the moving on of one child, your next one has sneakily grown leaps and bounds of their own. Somewhere along the line, you let go a little bit of her too, allowing her to take the bus on her own, hang out at the mall and meet friends more often.
Even Tt has suddenly gone from holding my leg and wanting me RIGHTTHERE to waving goodbye as he runs off across the park to the soccer field, looking back only to give me a thumbs up that he’s got his coach and is good to go. If it wasn’t so danged cute, I’d cry! But you just let go a little bit, and move on, thinking, “Well, at least my BABY still needs me. I can still cling to HIM!”.
Boo is much more mobile now too. How do they all let go of me at once??
He’s up and down stairs, doesn’t need help getting around or up on his chair and plays with his toys on his own for periods of time.
I watched B last night as she played outside with her little brothers, so happy. In a few months she’ll be off, living in Residence, taking University classes, meeting new friends, attending a new church and playing PREMIUM volleyball . I’m going to miss her, and I’m sure the boys will too, but hopefully she’ll be home often.
And in the meantime, it’s probably best I keep a closer eye on that sneaky-growing-up daughter #2…
The good part of letting go a little bit more, is that more time for me = more time to blog!